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Cancer a long haul learning Journey Episode 7 - Increasing Positive emotion & embracing support.

Updated: Jan 9

I don't know how many times over the past 2 years, I have read or heard somebody saying, "Cancer was one of my best experiences in life!" Please don't get me wrong for many, many more people I am also very sure its the polar exact opposite.

However for me I have learnt so much and am trying to continue on this path as I continue the fight between my cancer and me.

One of the most eyewatering things I've learnt is this. People genuinely care!, really care and actually share so much love it is amazing.

Add to this LOVE keeps you growing, regrowing and ALIVE! Simple right?

Like, I guess a lot of people. At the start of my journey I didn't share what was happening outside those that needed to know. I didn't want people to pitty me or treat me differently, At least that's what I told myself. In truth it was possibly because I was scared I might loose something the more people that knew, friends, job, financial income, etc. Nothing could be more further that the truth, really nothing!

I bit of the science.

Have you ever hugged anybody and found for a few moments you can't let go, you want to hug and squeeze harder, longer, you know, wife? husband? dad? mum? sister? brother? best mate? photo of above? Dog? cat? spiritual symbol? anybody / anything you have an unconditional feeling for? That's it, that's love right?

What you may not a have noticed at those pricise times is that warmth feeling, slowly moving down the centre of your chest or spine through your very specific energy points, your beating heart for one.

That is in fact really happening. It is chemicals and hormones called Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. These are often referred to as our “happy hormones.”

They are LIFE giving hormones and (please read more on this in the book references I have already provided and many many more sources I am sure) science, biology and the medical industry KNOW for fact that prolonged stress stops

  1. growth

  2. your immune system, working

  3. and drains blood from your brain so makes you a bit dumber!

Our happy hormones have in some way the opposite effect so they make you less stressed and therefore boost

  1. your growth (the body continues to grow for life, replacing bits the dies, droop and drop off, i.e. your cells!)

  2. your immune system to fight all the toxins we live in

  3. and it makes you a little bit smarter and better.


So with the science done, (from me) here's what is important. I have been a really ungrateful person my entire life, and I didn't know it until I got my cancer!

There is so much genuine, real love out there for me and I never recognised it in this way before. for this everybody I am sorry.

Might get a bit soppy and personal from here, but the point is important to drawer out for those starting similar journeys as me.... its all true! (but forgive me too many to name)

Lets start with the obvious, close family. Here I want to call out Bridie, Tommy, Paul, Lou, Suzanne, JP and Siobhan to start. If your going through my journey and you're seeing the look on your fathers (and others faces) face of pure worry it makes your heart stop and bleed a little. But the thing I've learnt is to share with them regular updates, ask them for help, let them know what you're feeling both physically and mentally, the flow of support and LOVE even gets through the internetty thing and you can feel it both ways, its wonderful, honest. I extend that to the in laws Ann, Tel, the Bannon girls and the lads and families, each in their own way keep me alive, even just hearing them talk to Suzanne sometimes from a different room, I feel what they mean.

I am very blessed to come from a huge family, I know each and everyone very personally (100's if counted) and through WhatsApp, messengers of all types I have been able to keep in touch and one or two particular cousins has kept everyone up to date regularly. They make me laugh and cry as they live through this together with me.

Extend that again to my life long and close friends, I am so lucky to have been able to call so many people a mate, a friend, its humbling. Steve L (Liverpool Steve to my son) is a mate as long as I like to remember, and since being further physically away from each other and locked down with covid etc, he has never missed a weekly call, check in with me.

If I said I loved him...he would call me soppy, but the love I now know is stronger than ever. Thanks Chris L for showing him the internetty thing!

There are too many other mates, who sincerely care I could go on forever.

I have to go further though, I have a network of true friends, again I have never really understood just how big. After "coming out" with my disease I found my phone pinging, ringing more than ever. I then found myself trying to update and keep updated more than 70+ friends from my past and present (past only due to location and men don't communicate as often as should) Impossible right? No, I was compelled because again they really care. They in turn take the updates to their wives also friends and others who perhaps found it hard to call direct.

I started and upkeep a WhatsApp group to update "The Blokes" when I need.

So think of this, all that above sending me those life giving chemicals and hormones, so much so, I am often humbled to tears. They (you, if your reading) in a VERY BIG, BIG way have and ARE keeping me alive.

I will never, ever take you for granted again.

I love you!

I am blessed I think with all of the above, but my point here is you may be too, you may still not be sharing your feelings, talking to people that you have as family and friends (no matter how big or small)

As a complimentary element to your treatment please try to reach out to receive what will be waiting for your in some way.

Also don't worry if you feel that you have nobody there are plenty, plenty of groups and ways you can achieve the same healing LOVE in as much abundance as I do.

Kelly A Turner provides some great tips in her book and website.

If you want to reach out to a like minded soul to start, drop me a message on here. The world is waiting to help!

In the next episode I will move into what I have learnt on mind, body and spirit.

I will try not to leave it so long to the next one.

Please leave feedback. I mean to help nothing more.

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